Dress like a lumberjack or dress like a woodland creature tomorrow night at ARCH DL IV.

For those of us who have not had the pleasure of wielding an axe in the defense of civilization, here’s a short refresher on the essential accoutrement you will need to pass yourself off as a lumberjack.

The forests of the world have known many varietals of lumberjacks, men aged with pine, birch and musk, bred for the needly embrace of the Spokane wind and the icy shards of Hokkaido. But for all their regional eccentricities (the always-warm whetstones of the Northeastern Chinese), certain things never change.

credits: LVHRD

He drinks from rivers and brushes his teeth with bark

Do you have what it takes?

Hat
Heat leaves through your head. For a lumberjack, spending his days in the naked screech of nature, this can be the difference between life and death. Many lumberjacks swear that hats made at home by a wife keep you warmer; others say those made by mistresses.

Beard
A badge of honor, but also one of the lumberjack’s greatest natural advantages. To quote Mr Dylan: “I let my hair grow long. The more hair on the outside, the less hair on the inside.”

credits: LVHRD

Those are the lumberjack's "colors"

This particular specimen is from the Alaskan Wilderness.

Shirt
Lumberjacks are notoriously near-sighted. Their eyes work best when presented with wide, thick structures at close range: tree-trunks or bears. The patterns on a lumberjack’s shirt allow tribes of lumberjacks to identify their own at greater distance, on mountainsides or through a tree line. Plaid is best, flannel or wool.

credits: LVHRD

Strapped like Bamboo

Lumberjacks are masters of saying a lot with very little. You have to know what you look for and then you realize that evey piece of clothing makes a statement about a lumberjack's standing with his tribe.

Suspenders
A lumberjack can’t spare a hand to keep pulling up his pants. You need two hands on that axe.

Belt
It is an ancient lumberjack tradition to wear one belt and only one belt. Usually made by hand from a stirrup-hock of leather by a girlfriend whose name is no longer spoken, only felt.

credits: LVHRD

Foundation

Any good day of logging starts with semi-clean britches.

Socks & Boots
If war has been good for anything it has taught us what we stand to lose by not taking care of our feet. How many of Sherman’s men perished on his March to the Sea because they lacked adequate footwear?

Countless. Countless.

When a lumberjack enters the forest he is going to war. Nature stands to outdo him, and so him to it. That he takes his wood-bounty by gut-force is what earns him the respect of the earth. Everything in the world tries to kill the lumberjack. But he counters. And he does this on his feet.

ARCH DL IV is tomorrow. Dress like a lumberjack or dress like a woodland creature. Get your tickets and we’ll see you in Alaska.