credits: Fanatic

Fanatically unintelligible

Press release that just landed in our inbox, apparently for a band called We Were The States. Apparently from a publicist named Dave Clifford.

Well boys, you need to let Dave go. This may be the most convoluted piece of promotional gibberish we’ve ever seen.

If “90s Brit-Pop meets 70s Punk Rock meets Y2K Williamsburg” is the best description a human being can some up with to describe the sound of your music then you have no real sound, because those words, strung together in the English language, are utterly devoid of meaning. Your sound is a bleeding, rattling, trash-can tub full of rat traps, and we hope we never get close enough to your music to have to ignore it.

And then, as if that lurid approximation wasn’t enough, Clifford goes on:

“We Were The States release debut album merging The Walkmen, Oasis, DeadBoys, Murder City Devils, et al.”

Et al.

ET AL.

Because there are other mediocre bands piled into We Were The States’ sound, too numerous in fact, for Dave Clifford to mention in this press release. There might even be 10, 12, 15 more musical acts ro-sham-boed into We Were The States’ majestically unoriginal debut album.

And how do we know it’s unoriginal? Do you know why we have zero inclination to listen to this album? THE PRESS RELEASE. YES! YES! YES!