credits: REUTERS/Dario Pignatelli

Only good touches from now on

Aboard the Papal Plane today Pope Benedict said he was really upset that so many pedophiles had gotten into the priesthood and from now on there would be no more of that:

“We will absolutely exclude pedophiles from the sacred ministry…pedophiles cannot be priests.”(Reuters)

One hundred and seventy seven pedophiles just read that, took a deep breath and signed up for ITT Tech.

The Pope failed to mention, however, that being a priest is what makes you into a pedophile. Thus, he will technically stay true to his word: no one will become a pedophile until they’ve been in the priesthood at least several years.

Also: we love it when people make promises that ARE COMPLETELY OUTSIDE THEIR ABILITY TO DELIVER.