I came across this article full of huge, engorged words that all seem to say one thing: Watermelons have viagra-like effects on the human body. That last sentence started with the words ‘I came.’ Can you believe it?

Here’s your homework assignment: have sex tonight. Consider this the control for our experiment. Now, eat as much watermelon as you can this week, copulating again on Saturday. Same partner. Same positions.

We’ll check in again at the end of the week to see how things came out. Came out. Double whammy.