I had no idea it could be this bad.

Here I was, living my little Beowulf-y life, ignoring the political and socioeconomical trends of late and, apparently, I completely missed the election. And now, according to this video a friend just sent me, my non-participation has cost Obama the presidency.

The report claims there are Facebook groups like “10 Million Strong Against Beowulf Jones.” (I think I might’ve joined that one! I don’t really pay much attention to what I’m clicking on, either.) And I see little old ladies denouncing me on national television, Bill O’Reilly praising me on national television… it’s a nightmare!

How could I have been so blind! There’s a link to a story on there that quotes my neighbor: “Beowulf always seemed so normal.” I certainly thought I was! And sheesh, look at how Palin is gloating over being — and I quote — “the second-most powerful person in the world.” That’s it, I’m clicking on that story.

…

Wait.

What?