credits: EFNY

Will to Power

There is no first lady.

New York State was planning on welcoming its new Governor on Monday.

During the turbulent interim however, Kurt Russell has stepped in, vowing to face any and all challengers to his gubernatorial supremacy in a steel pole fight at South Street Seaport.

“I’m not playing Governor,” said Russell in a statement to the NY Post. “I am making the Governor.”

As strange as it might seem to those accustomed to 21st century political intrigue, Russell’s throttle-choke to power is not unprecedented.

Following the assassination of JFK in 1963, Johnson offered Kennedy-loyalists in his cabinet the option of swearing an oath to the new administration or being “snake-bit” by a pair of brass knuckles.

Spitzer steps down on Gothamist